Husbands Social Rut

Is your husband in a Social Rut? Or dose he just want to spend time with u?

When ones get married we can fined ourselves in a social rut, spending time with the one we love is easy. U can just plop yourself on the sofa and watch TV and relax.
Not to say marriage is the problem it's NOT!

So is your husband in a social rut?
Dose he never spend time with guys?
How much time? And when?

It's easy to stay home it's easy and a lot less effort!

How can you encourage him to hang with the guys?
And why would you want him 2?

When a man spends time with his friends they become less stressed.
I personally love when my husband gets some time with the guys from time to time. He's more relaxed, easy going and full of funny stories and jokes to tell.

Do how do you encourage your husband?

Why not suggest next time there is a game on that you know he wants to watch that he get some friends together to watch at a bar. Or better yet host a little game party at your house with just his guy friends.

What ever you do don't be a nag!
Just be supportive and help him get around his fiends.


Is your husband or you in a rut?
Do you have any tips to help?
Please comment or email me at contactus@ultimatehousewife.com

No More Clutter

We all want to have a clean and efficient home. But you can't have a clean home if you have clutter every were. When you have clutter every were your home dose not look clean, even if you have spent hours cleaning.

1.) First you need to know what clutter is:

Check all that apply:

- when greeting visitors you fined yourself saying "Excuse the mess', I have had no time."

- The entryway of your home is cluttered with Shoes, Bags, hat and anything else that fell out of someone's arms.

- all trash Bins are full or almost overflowing.

- The dining table has so much stuff on it it can't even be used with out moving something.

- All your drawers are so full that they pop open like a jack in the box when they're opened.

- Hobby stuff and hobby equipment is sitting out or tucked in corners or on the side of the sofa.

- There are more than 4 garments in you closet that you haven't worn in the last two years.

- The kitchen counter is covered with 'stuff' including decor, mixer, blended, coffee maker etc...

- The bathroom had stuff all over the counter, toys in the tub, the bathtub has more then 3 bottles of stuff.

- The beds and Chairs are covered with discarded clothes, books, magazines etc...

If u have checked 2 or more of these boxes, your home is Screaming for help. It's Time to clean the clutter!!!

2.) When starting to clean out clutter don't do to much at once or you will get overwhelmed, or might not have time to finish, then you will have a bigger mess on your hands.

Look at ur room and see what needs to be there and what dose not.

Have 3 bags with you one for Charity, one for stuff to Sell and one for Trash.

The Kitchen

• Clean one cabinet or drawer at a time

• Start with the food cabinets, throw away any food that needs to be. Store dry goods in tins or jars, something that can easily be stacked.

The Living Room

Make the Living Room a place where you can relax with family and friends. make it cosy and inviting!

• Don't have Towers of Books, Magazines and Junk Mail piled in the Living Room.
• Add some throw Blanket and when i mean some i mean some like 2 or 3 not 10 and a throw Blanket is small its not the size of a bed! so if you have this size or more then 3 time to clean out!

The Bedroom

The Bedroom should be a Relaxed and Beautiful Sanctuary. Not a Trash and Laundry Dump!

• Tidy up your Closet and clean out what is not use and what you will never use!
• Tidy up all your Drawers and get rid of everything you don't need.

The Bathroom

A bathroom should feel and be clean and neat!

• Go through the cabinets and any shelves removing any old products that you never use.
• clean out the toys. you don't need that many toys in the bath tub 3- 4 is good

Do you have any Tip?

How do you Clean The Clutter?

Comment Below!

Do You have a Clutter Clean Out Story? If so I would Love to Hear it, and maybe even share it! Contact me: Contcactus@ultimatehousewife.com

Homemade Laundry Soap

So I love making things. And love to fined ways to save money.

I have always wanted to try making my own laundry soap, but would never get around to it.

Well I finely have!

And have been using this soap for awhile now, and love it!

And what is best of all its HE, so it works Great with my front load washer!

Want To make some? 

Here is how to do it...

Ingredients:

1. one for pound twelve ounce box of Borax (Get Here )

2. There Bars of Fels-Naptha soap (Get Here)

3. One four pound box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (Get Here)

4. One box of Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda (Found in Laundry Isle)

5. Four pounds of Oxy Clean (Get Here) *Optional 

6. Laundry Softener for a Bolder Scent *Optional

7. A 5 gallon bucket or something of that size (Get Here)

*I like to put the Oxy Clean in. with a husband that works as a contractor i need all the help i can get! as for the Laundry Softener I have done this but i like it with out more its and easier and cheaper way with out.

This Laundry soap is so easy to make!

Makes 4 Gallons

#1 Grate the Fels-Naptha

#2 Add each Ingredient one cup at a time into the Bucket.

#3 Mix and keep repeating step 2 and 3 tell you run out of each ingredient.

#4 Put in Container of you Choice.

I use about 2-3 Table spoons per load!

This stuff is Great for sensitive skin & HE Washers

You can Use other Bar Soap besides the Fels-Naptha, but this will change the scent so keep this in mined

One Batch last me forever!

The Total Cost for my Laundry Soap is $12

What do You Think of Homemade laundry Soap?                                                                                                                        Have you made your Own Before or this one?   Share your Thoughts, Recipes, Questions & more In the Comments below or on our Facebook Page!

And if you have a Recipe You want me to Try i would love 2! 

I Found everything at Walmart. I tried Target first but they did not have everything and what they did have was a little more in price so better to just so strait to Walmart. that's were I go when i get my stuff to make this. 

Cleaning The House

Another role of a housewife is maintaining the upkeep of the house. Tasks like cleaning washing the dishes, doing the laundry, ironing clothes, dusting, keeping the fridge and pantry stocked and going grocery shopping if need be are all completed by a housewife. 

Ensuring that the house is tidy, clean and nicely decorated has traditionally been the role of the housewife, though this expectation has lessened.

What we are going to be talking about is The Housewife's Role of Cleaning the home!

Cleaning house. Not necessarily the most glamorous task for the homemaker, but definitely a requirement!

It works best to set up a schedule of chores. Monday is vacuuming day, Tuesday, you do the laundry, Wednesday is clean the bathroom, etc. By setting the chores to a rhythm and habit, they get done quickly and efficiently, so you have more time to do the things you like best.

You will Find what Schedule works best for you.

Do make a point of cleaning with non-toxic cleaners. Toxic residues, and fumes do you and your family no good. White vinegar is an excellent all-purpose cleaner that is inexpensive and gets the job done. Or you can fined Recipes for Cleaning stuff here on our blog. 

 Cleaning duties include: 

• organizing

• dusting

• cleaning

• scrubbing

• sweeping

• vacuuming

•  doing the dishes

• doing laundry

Maintaining the household may also include:

•  paying the bills

• creating and maintaining a household Budget

•  running household errands

• mowing the lawn

• getting the car serviced

• caring for any pets

• shopping for food and cleaning supplies

• buying clothes and accessories for the different members of the household.

For each Household this list can change but this is the things that need to be done. 

With a spouse at work and the children at school, Cleaning the house can go much more quickly.

 I always suggest First starting with Running through the house and putting everything in its place example:

•    like the throw pillows for the sofa pick them up off the floor and put them were they go.

•  the toy in the hallway put it back in the toy box

• the news paper your husband was reading at the table put it away

• the glass of water on the night stand put in the dishwasher.

the list can go on but i think your getting the idea.

  Now you will start with you big cleaning. Consider starting in the kitchen after breakfast. Wash dishes, mop the floor, clean the stove and kitchen table and put the dishes in the cupboard. Move on to other rooms, vacuuming, polishing furniture and dusting.  after cleaning up from breakfast I like to move on to the room my husband will be first walking into after work, then moving on to the next room. That way if I don't get everything done at least when he first walks in it will look neat and tidy. 

For more Tips, cleaning list, schedule planing etc... continue reading our blog

Caring For Your Husband

A housewife is a married woman who is not employed outside the home.

(But this dose not mean she doesn't have a Job Because Caring for your Children, Home & Husband is a big Job!)

Most often, the husband works during the day and earns income to support the family, while the wife takes on most of the non-financial responsibilities, such as maintaining the home and, if applicable, caring for the kids. It is up to the couple whether this arrangement works for them.

Sometimes it's a temporary situation, such as if children are too young to go to school and the cost of daycare is greater than the woman's salary.

For other couples, it may represent a commitment to traditional values.

Whatever the reason, if you have chosen to be a housewife, reading this post and others on our Blog will help you flourish in the role.

Caring for your husband is very important!
For many reason!
To name a couple:

-Your Marriage, things will run more smoothly and your Marriage is better when you really want to Care for the other.

-You, There is more happiness in giving then getting!

-Him, he will feel that you care for him, love him & Cherish him.

-Your Children, when thing are better with Mom & Dad it's always better for the kids. Pulse you set a good example for them.

-The People around you, when your happy and have a happy marriage the people around you take note. They learn from you and want to be around you. ( have you ever been to dinner with a couple who fight or you can tell they are just not happy with each other. Yea you never want to go to dinner again with them. Don't be that couple.)

First Thing First:
Discuss expectations with your partner. Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can.

The definition of a good housewife depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent.

Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't.

Sit down and talk it over.
-What are the things he is hoping you will keep up with in the home?
-What are his responsibilities in the home?

If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, he may take responsibility for cleaning up after himself: putting his dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after he has finished using them, emptying the trash near his desk, putting his dishes in the dishwasher, etc.

What you can do to Care For your Husband:

1.) Cook For Him
The saying is "away to a Mans heart is through his stomach" and that not 100% true but I tell u it dose help!

Having a meal ready when he gets home is a good way to let him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome for your partner when he gets home.

2.) Give Him some Guy Time.
Be mindful and considerate of your spouse's needs. Lots of men need space when they come home from a hard day at work, so welcome him home with a big smile and allow him to relax and unwind.

Have his favourite meal and drink ready, and let him relax after a tough day of work.
Be available to spend time with him and comfort him, but if he wants to spend time alone or with his friends and not you, take a step back and let him have his way. (Yes he don't need to be with his friends every night but he dose need some Guy Time, from time to time.) it's all about being balanced!

3.) Listen to him.
A good wife listens to what her spouse has to say without interrupting.

Show empathy and learn how to have great conversations. The key idea is that to be a good conversationalist, you should strive to listen more and talk less, by engaging the other person to talk more about his interests. That is the mark of humility, respect, selflessness, and generosity.

4.)Improve your skills in the bedroom.
It never hurts, and will only help to learn more about the sexual side of marriage.

There are lots of books and websites that can help you improve your sexual techniques.


Some thing you Need To Do:

1.) Maintain a great appearance.
It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a husband, but maintaining attraction is a key element of a long-term relationship.

While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, or any committed relationship.

Try to spend some time each day making yourself look pretty, wearing clothes that delight him. If your husband oftentimes tells you he likes when you wear a certain garment or outfit, by all means, take the hint.

Good grooming and hygiene are vital, so keep yourself neat and feminine by having a pretty hair cut, nice nails and smooth legs/underarms etc.. (No man wants to be married to a beast. Lol)

2.)Tidy up the house!
make your home a clean and pleasant place to live in.

3.) Find a balance in arguments, but avoid them if possible.
Nagging never works, and will only serve to irritate your spouse. Not speaking your mind is just as bad.
Husbands are not tyrannic creatures:
if you find a balance in arguments, and take turns to speak, things will surely improve. And try not to raise your voice or belittle your spouse!

4.) Love your spouse for who he is.
Don't criticize him in an unconstructive, cruel, or nagging way.

Whatever your image of the 'ideal' man may be, everyone is unique in his own ways, so try to respect that.

Before you try to improve others, try to improve yourself first. If you find things disagreeable about him, let him know in a mature, sensible and loving way: chances are that he will agree on some things and/or explain others, plus it will build trust between both of you and save unnecessary conflicts.

5.) Let him take control.
of certain situations, more so if they are extra personal situations like choosing his hobby, his meals, his clothes, etc.

When you are home a lot, it can be easy to want to take control of everything your husband does in the home, but this may not be your husband's preference.

It's all right if you want to give him your input in a polite way, more so if he asked you. Otherwise, let him have his space, just as you'd want yours. He's a separate human being from you; always remember that.

6.) Don't gossip.
Gossiping is in bad taste, no matter how fashionable it might look.

Talking behind people's backs will make you seem untrustworthy and if your husband finds out he will have every right to question if you have been talking about him behind his back as well.

Always be respectful, so people will treat you (and your husband!) with respect.



Tips:
1.) Live joyfully.
Make sure that you create a routine and role for yourself that brings you and your family joy.

Being a good housewife is about doing the best you can for the welfare of the entire household, so make it work for you, your partner, and everyone else in the family.

Making a Grocery List

By this time you should have your Meal Plan all ready. 

if you do not go  to our post on "Planning Meals" 

• Once you have your menu in hand, you can now do the grocery shopping list. For while you are planning your menu, you are also noting the items you need to prepare all your meals.
• This is also a good time to go through your food staples, cleaning supplies, and personal hygiene products to see if you need to restock while you're at the store.

1.     Be a coupon clipper, look and see if you have any you can use!

2.          Scheduling grocery shopping after you have done the chores in the house can be a good idea also after you have clean and fix fridge and pantry or anywhere else you keep food.

•  I shop at 4 main stores #1 being Costco #2 Win-Co #3 Trader Joes and #4 Save-Mart I try and get as much as i can at Costco, but there are just something I can’t get. so that's when the other stores come into play.

• I make my list one for each store, me knowing the thing i want is not at Costco why put it on the Costco list so it goes on the other list.
• So as you make your list think about where you are getting this and put it on that list.

• I write items on the lists in a way that reflects the way the store is arranged.  For instance, the meat is closer to the entrance of my store, so I put those things first on the list.  And the frozen fruit is almost at the end of the store, so that goes near the end of my list.
• I usually look back over the meal plan twice just to make sure I didn't forget to add anything to the list.
• Of course, I also sometimes need to buy items that don’t appear on my menu plan. I keep a running list on the fridge of those things (things I or my Husband have add to the list).

•  I do take a look at the sale flier for the stores I shop, and if I see a good deal on something I don’t really need that week, I sometimes will add it to my list.  Buying items when they’re cheap keeps me from having to buy them when they’re not on sale.

 here is the basic suggestions:

1. Plan a menu. Going to the store without a basic idea of what you’re going to be cooking is a recipe for over-spending and over-buying (which often leads to food waste)

2. Use your menu plan to help you make a specific list. If you know your list is specific and comprehensive, you won’t be tempted to buy extra stuff “just in case”.

3. Keep a running list of items you need. 

How do you make your shopping list? Please Comment or send me an email at contactus@ultimatehousewife.com

1950s Housewife

Things are Very different form how there were in the 1950s. But we can all learn a little for reading about being a Good Housewife in the 1950s. what was a good housewife in the 1950s?

"The Basics" The following is excerpted from an actual 1950's high school Home Economics textbook: "ADVANCE: How to be a Good Wife

HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way to let him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned with his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and having a good meal ready is part of the warm welcome that is needed.

 PREPARE YOURSELF: Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. Greet him with a smile.

CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER: Make one last trip though the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up children's books and toys, papers, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you lift too.

 PREPARE THE CHILDREN: If they are small, wash their hands and faces and comb their hair. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

MINIMIZE ALL NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise from the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

SOME "DO NOT'S": Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem compared to what he might have gone through that day.

MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he doesn't take you to dinner or to other entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to unwind and relax.

THE GOAL: TO MAKE YOUR HOME A PLACE OF PEACE AND ORDER WHERE YOUR HUSBAND CAN RELAX IN BODY AND SPIRIT." Most wives in the 1950's had one job: to be a homemaker. This meant wives must not only clean the house but also truly make a home. Being a homemaker in the 1950's meant caring for both your family and your house, as well as presenting yourself as picture-perfect throughout the day. Not only that, you had to make it seem effortless.

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner • Wives in the 1950's had many fewer conveniences than today. You might wonder what a homemaker did with her time back then. She began by cooking breakfast for her family; there were certainly no drive-through restaurants where members of her family could grab a bagel and latte. There were no government-sanctioned school breakfasts, sometimes not even a hot lunch program for the kids, so she also had to make and pack lunches -- often for her husband as well. In the late afternoon when her children were home from school and her husband had returned from work, the homemaker of the 1950's was already busy preparing dinner.

One Car and No Microwave • Not only were wives in the 1950's expected to cook and serve breakfast, lunch and dinner, they were expected to have a house that was neat and tidy, and to keep their hair and makeup attractive. There were no microwaves, sometimes not even an electric vacuum; there was certainly no dishwasher. A housewife cleaned and washed dishes and clothes, perhaps walked to the grocery store -- most families had only one car, which her husband took to work.

Changing Times • Early in the 1950's with the advent of television came frozen dinners; this precipitated changes in homemaking because homemakers were able, on some nights, to take a break from cooking. Instant desserts made their debut, as well as convenience foods such as ready-to-eat cereal and frozen waffles. Electric appliances become more affordable, and therefore commonplace, and homemakers were able to more efficiently do their work. Wives in the 1950's gradually were freed from many chores and able to expand their horizons beyond homemaking itself.

The Highest Calling • In the 1950's, homemaking was considered a woman's highest calling -- the pinnacle of her life. Many today believe a woman can find her highest calling in ways other than simply being a homemaker, but the homemaker of the 1950's was relieved of what many, then and now, consider an onerous chore in itself: earning an income. There our some good things and bad thing about all of this, back then Housewife had to do all of this other wise they were considered a bad housewife! now days if we want to do all of this for our husband and children they know we are doing it out of love and care not just a job. Many of us wife's can learn more on how to care for our family. so lets take a look at were we can Start. Go to "The Ultimate Housewife's role" Page on our Blog here.

Other Blog Post you May Like: Cleaning a Home, Providing Meals, Caring for your Husband, Making a House a Home

Planning Meals

Planning Meals

The first call to order is to plan the family meals for the week; that is breakfast, lunch and dinner, including snacks, and desserts.

When developing your menu, pay attention to nutrition, your family likes and dislikes, and what fresh foods are in season. Plan, too, for "leftover" nights. They stretch the budget and save time. Especially yours. If you get stuck on what to plan for each day, pull out your favorite cookbook and work from it.

For variety and fun, you could have different ethnic food weeks where all the recipes you prepare are either Italian, Mexican, Greek...or whatever! Use your imagination!

Don't forget to plan on a meal out once in a while too!

Tip: while you are planning your menu, you are also noting the items you need to prepare all your meals. Don't forget about Any parties or holidays, special occasions and work or school functions that might be happening that week.  (I like to do 2 weeks at a time, But that is what works for my household.) 

How to Do it:

1. plan our meals for the following week, this is called meal or menu planning.  It sounds intimidating, but it really is a simple task that takes 5-10 minutes to plan 1 week of meals.

1. write down all your families favorite meals.  This will be an easy reference when you can’t think of something to cook. (For me i have a Recipe box that i put everything my husband like in it)

1. Almost every family has after School Activities or Religious Events during the week.  Organize your menu around the activities knowing you can start dinner throughout the day to have it ready in time when you get home (I love my slow cooker), or perhaps an easy meal is required on these nights or even plan on having that your leftover night.

1. Glance through your fridge and pantry, are there any food that may need to be cooked soon? If so plan a meal that you can use it in.

1. Have a look through the grocery junk mail and plan your meals around the meats and veg that are on special, this will help reduce your grocery bill.

1. Perhaps you may cook up a double batch and you have left overs for the next day, don’t forget to include this in your planner.

1. Now complete the planner with meals you would like to cook.  Don’t forget you can get some great meal ideas from my blog. 

Once you have your menu in hand, you can now make your grocery shopping list. For while you are planning your menu, you are also noting the items you need to prepare all your meals. Next you will make your grocery list then your ready to hit the grocery store!! see Blog Post Making a Grocery List

Providing Meals

Providing Meals for your Family!

Everyone has to eat and feeding the family is one of the main duties of the homemaker.

You will Need to Plan meals for the week. for help with this see Blog Post Planning Meals. the meals you will do is breakfast, lunch and dinner, including snacks, and desserts.  

Think about this too, food is central to all cultures and family life. As a homemaker you are not only taking care of your family, you are also creating traditions. Enter into this endeavor of feeding your family with the intention of not only providing nutrition for their bodies, but family time and building good memories.

Dinner in particularly is a meal that has traditionally be prepared by the housewife for her husband after he returns home from work. 

Here's where you get to prepare those scrumptious, nutritious meals for your family!

Think you can't cook? Experiment with easy recipes. Enroll in a cooking class at your local community college or parks department. 
and Coming soon we will have a Cooking School Video!

Wives in the 1950's: She began by cooking breakfast for her family; there were certainly no drive-through restaurants where members of her family could grab a bagel and latte. There were no government-sanctioned school breakfasts, sometimes not even a hot lunch program for the kids, so she also had to make and pack lunches -- often for her husband as well. In the late afternoon when her children were home from school and her husband had returned from work, the homemaker of the 1950's was already busy preparing dinner.

Tip of the Day! #1

{Contributed post}*This post contains affiliate links to essential oils and other products I talk about in the post. Purchasing them here from my blog is no extra cost to you but I do earn a commission that helps in the cost of running this blog. Thanks for your support! Read full disclaimer here.

Do a Little Laundry!It's NOT your Day to do LAUNDRY who Cares!

If you have some free time and you have a Full load of Laundry to do, even just one load Do It! Its always better to keep on top of things!

Blog Post you May Like: Homemade Laundry Soap, Cleaning a Home